Giving Thanks

Every fourth Thursday in November, many families in the United States sit around their dinning table to celebrate Thanksgiving Day. Family members and friends are encouraged to share with each other things for which they are thankful. Below are a few things I'm thankful for:

I'm thankful that I'm alive.

I'm thankful for my health and the health of my family.

I'm thankful to have a loving husband and partner.

I'm thankful that we're able to provide a safe, nurturing, and loving environment for our daughters.

I'm thankful for everyone who is a part of our village, as it truly does take a village.

I'm thankful to God for these and many other blessings.


What are you thankful for this year?

What Turns Men Off/What Makes Women Want to Run for the Hills?

I reached out to some males and females and asked them to share with us what turns them off either in a relationship, or from entering in to one. What's that thing that makes them want to run the other way? That guy who thinks everyone is out to get him (including you). That female who created a Facebook page pretending to be you and sends messages out to your other friends (one of my cousin's girlfriend actually did this. Creepy.) Below are some of the responses I got back:

"Insecure woman, loud, no compassion, too formal or conservative, narrow minded." Charles

"Cockiness is a turn off. Its nice for a guy to be confident and driven in what God has blessed him with. but there is a fine line, so why are you praising yourself? Guys think its macho, but I think its insecurity when a guy tries that hard to talk himself up. Let others praise you. This is not an interview. Major turnoff. Oh, and talking about other females like exes on a first date. That doesn't get second dates, guaranteed." Wenwu

"INSECURITY - Women who are insecure usually exhibit low self-esteem, complain a lot about everything, are very possessive and downright petrifying. "When is it time to RUN for the hills? When your female friend is constantly asking you the following questions:"

·Does this dress make me look fat?

·Who is that new girl at your office and how come she’s is on your team and not the other supervisors’?

·Whose number is this and why do you keep calling it over and over?

·Why are you comparing me to other girls?

·Who are you looking at? Do you want to be with her or me?

·What is the password to your cell phone or email?

"Guys, if you get these kinds of questions from your female friend over and over, it may be time to RUN for the hills." John

"One thing that has turned me off since I was in high school is a guy that does not hold the door open for me on our first date. I continued dating a few guys that did that (despite my initial feelings of disgust), and they usually turned out to be lazy! And my next "turn off" if you haven't guessed it, is laziness. When that trait became clear, I did not hesitate to say goodbye!" Marina

"I hate bitching. For instance, my wife and I know each other so well, she would start a bitching session by saying, "I dont want to complain, but.." and then I would do what I have to do in respect for her." Standford

"An emotionally needy man. I need my man to be my rock, don't burden me with all your emotions." - anonymous

"Things about a girl that would turns me off would be a girl that is aggressive, clingy, and the worst of all disrespectful." Christopher

"Bad breath. If his breath smells like he had garlic for breakfast and onions for lunch all the damn time, I will definitely be running the other way!" Tina

"There will be those who find what is meant to be real in a relationship. The lucky ones who re-define what love really is, and can give and receive to nurture it. To these men who are not cheaters, lets let the relationship exist with a mutual respect and honor. Simply put, a lack of trust is what turns this man off." Calvin

"A big turn-off is when your interest is not able to reasonably integrate themselves into your friend groups. I have a variety of friends and if he is not able to hang out with us and adapt to the situation (i.e. staying off in the corner or always wanting to stay by my side), that is a huge yellow flag. Get your social on!" anonymous

"Now, what is unique to all men universally (which is also my position) is that we all will despise and get turned off by a women who lies." Oliver

"What turns me off is men whose eyes at first approach gravitate directly
below the shoulders and then make that "umph" animalistic grunt as if to
mark their territory. I'm not sure if they mean it as a compliment or are
intentionally communicating that sex is their only intent. But it repels." Kadi


"The ultimate fear that I will get bored with the other person. As an aquarius, I tend to want something new often and I'm free willed so I also tend to have a fear of being tied down." Tim

Thoughts Of A Not So Angry Black Woman

Today’s Women Alliance and Black Girls Rock! Inc. are two non-profit youth empowerment and mentoring organizations that encourage young women of color to view themselves in a positive light, and strive to reach their full potential. Race, a socially constructed notion, plays an essential part in shaping the American Society. Many people believe that the United States is now a post-racial society simply because Barack Obama, a bi-racial man who identifies as black, is our president.

Too many times in our country’s history black women have been portrayed in stereotypical and often disparaging ways, as ignorant, lazy, buffoonish, hyper-sexual or sexless martyrs, welfare queens from the ghetto. Society has come a long way, however, though not as overt, these depictions still do linger on today.

Living in a society where we have been bombarded with negative stereotypes and images of black women, it is essential for me, as a black woman and a mother of two beautiful black girls, to seek out, project, and promote positive images of black women and other women of color. Yes, you may find us in the ghetto doing the best we can to hold our families together with limited resources. You can also find us in the more affluent parts of the cities, the suburbs, the board rooms, Wall Street, Main Street, and the White House.

Black women continue to break through mental chains of distorted images and messages bestowed upon us. Thank you to the likes of Oprah Winfred, Condoleezza Rice, Michelle Obama; giants like Nikki Giovanni, Maya Angelou, Tina Turner, and the countless every day intelligent, hard working, beautiful black women out there for igniting my psyche with optimism and giving me the audacity to walk every day with my head up high.