Sunday, January 12, 2014

10 Ways to Put Yourself First

A lot of us sisters get so caught up in taking care of everyone else, that we forget to take care of ourselves. Remember, we're no good to anyone else if you don't first take care of ourselves. So, here are 10 things we can do to nurture and care for ourselves:
1) Take a 20mins bubble bath. Not a shower, a bath. Turn the bathroom light off, lite scented candles, and put on some soft mellow music (almost anything from Maxwell will do). 2)Call up one or two of your girlfriends and go out dancing in your Little Black Dress. There is nothing like hanging out with the girls. I don't understand women who don't like other women; who rather hang out with guys than women. No judgements here. I just don't understand it. Don't get me wrong, I love the brothers just as much as the next sister, but there are things they just don't get like your girlfriends would. 3) Turn off your cell phones and computers and read a book. What ever happened to good old fashion reading of books? I'm currently reading Recommitted: It's not too late by Celi Marie Dean. It's all about recommitting to yourself in order to get to a place of experiencing ultimate intimacy. Pick up a damn book and read! 4) Keep a daily, weekly, or monthly journal. If I'm going to suggest you read,you better believe I'm going to suggest you write. Doing this can be therapeutic and fun to look back on.
5) Practice meditate. This will help keep you atoned to yourself as well as get you connected to the universe. Your philosophy or religious belief is not important during this process. It's more of a spiritual journey where we can dive deep into the heart of the matter to gain access to our soul and inner realities. 6) Get enough sleep. There's nothing cute about staying up all night and partying like it's 1999 all the time. Get some sleep. You'll notice the difference in your productivity. 7) Eat healthier and exercise. Less McDonald's and Burger King, and more Subway and Chipotle. Less alcohol, and more milk or water. You get my drift. Once you get your healthier eating on, you can start moving your body more. A gym a nice, but you don't have to go there to exercise. Turn up the music and dance in your living room, go rock climbing, jump rope, run (or walk) up and down your stairs,take a kid our two to the park and play with them there, and, don't just lay there during sex, put in some work.
8) Buy yourself flowers. Why wait for someone else to make you feel special when you can do it yourself? Don't depend on others for your happiness. If you want some beautiful flowers, go and buy them for yourself. You deserve to love yourself. 9) Compliment yourself; pat yourself on the back. You are awesome and you know it. Don't wait for someone else to tell you, tell yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror and say "You go girl with your fabulous self!" 10) Learn to say no with a smile. Could you... NO, Can you... NO, Will you... NO. You don't have to take care of everything for everyone. What the hell are you trying to prove, and to whom are you trying to prove it? Settle down superwoman and take care of yourself. Really, it's okay. Until next week, stay fab!

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Decontee's Lounge: 2014 is Here

Decontee's Lounge: 2014 is Here: The first day of 2014 was a blast. It was my mom's 6oth birthday, so we got our party on like it was 1999! Happy birthday mom! Y...

2014 is Here

The first day of 2014 was a blast. It was my mom's 6oth birthday, so we got our party on like it was 1999!
Happy birthday mom! You look stunning at 60. I usually don't do New Year resolutions because I almost never keep them. However, this year, I've been inspired by a good friend the come up with one or two that I can commit to. So, I'm going to use the rest of this week to reflect and come up with a couple of resolutions I can commit to for 2014. Whatever they are, I'll make show I find little things to celebrate in every day that passes. Do you have any New Year resolutions of your own?

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Good Bye 2013

Good bye 2013. You were an unforgettable year. In March, you gave me a beautiful daughter; and for that alone, I will always cherish you. I will even cherish the moments that broke my heart because they produced incredible life lessons and hidden blessings. Thanks to all of my family and friends that were on this roller coaster journey with me in 2013. Thanks for laughing with me and cheering for me. Thanks for listening, giving me a hand to hold, and a shoulder to lean on. Thanks for praying with me, and partying with me. Thanks for supporting me through my many transformation and loving me through it all. Good bye 2013. You were an unforgettable year. I'm now looking forward to all that 2014 has to offer. Peace and blessings to all in the new year.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

The "B" Word.


What is it about that "B" word that makes a lot of women uncomfortable? You call them the "B" word,and they are immediately embarrassed. Some women would formulate an argument in an effort to persuade you in to believing that you are absolutely wrong about them. Maybe no one has ever used the "B" word on them before, so they're convinced that you couldn't possibly be talking about them; you must be talking about someone else. Today, I join others in saying to those women "You are BEAUTIFUL!" Embrace it. Own it. Relish in its delight. Simply BEAUTIFUL you are.

Monday, December 5, 2011

SlutWalk




SlutWalks are protest marches organized to challenge the falsehood that women get raped because of the way they dress. The protests began on April 3rd 2011 when Constable Michael Sanguinetti, a Canadian police officer in Toronto, implied that "women should avoid dressing like sluts" in order to not be victimized. This blaming the victim mentality is a constant barrier in the awareness and irratification of sexual violence. The officer has since then apologized for his statement.


During the slutwaks, many women dress up provocatively expressing that the way a woman dresses should not be used as an excuse to justify the violent act of rape.


Thousands of women and men have attended various SlutWalks which has sparked national and international debates. Organizers of SlutWalks say that this is one way to redeem the word "slut" which currently has a negative connotation. This leads me to my question. Why in the world would you want to redeem the word "slut?" That's as bizarre as a black person using the word "nigger" as a term of endearment.


Growing up on the East Coast (U.S.A), I used the word nigger frequently as I addressed my friends. As I got older and became more equipped with knowledge and wisdom, I could no longer accept a word that was meant for the degradation and dehumanization of people of African descent as a term of endearment. There's a reason why the "Million Man March" at the National Mall in Washington, D.C. attended by mostly African American men on October 16, 1995 was not called the "Million Nigger March." I have the same sentiments when it comes to the SlutWalks.

Reclaiming the language of the oppressor just doesn't make sense to me. Maybe I'm missing something. Supporters of the marches have raised a good point. If it wasn't called "SlutWalks," would we be talking about it today? Would the movement have gotten the national and even international recognition that it now has? What do you think?


Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Giving Thanks


Every fourth Thursday in November, many families in the United States sit around their dinning table to celebrate Thanksgiving Day. Family members and friends are encouraged to share with each other things for which they are thankful. Below are a few things I'm thankful for:

I'm thankful that I'm alive.

I'm thankful for my health and the health of my family.

I'm thankful to have a loving husband and partner.

I'm thankful that we're able to provide a safe, nurturing, and loving environment for our daughters.

I'm thankful for everyone who is a part of our village, as it truly does take a village.

I'm thankful to God for these and many other blessings.


What are you thankful for this year?