My Top Five Stories of October 2011

Those very close to me know I’m a news buff. CNN is my favorite TV channel, and my car radio is set to NPR most of the time. Oh yea, I’m that friend who was the first to call and tell you that Osama Bin Laden was killed, or that businessman turned presidential candidate Herman Cain just modified his “999” plan to a “909” plan. I once told one of my sisters that there is no movie more interesting to me than the events shown on the news. Yes, I know it. I’m a news geek, and I’m proud of it! The thing about being friends with a news geek is that whether you want to or not, you’re going to be informed of the good, the bad, and the ugly current events (just ask my friend Marie). So, below are my top five stories of October.

5) Wild Animals Roamed the Streets of Ohio

A man let 56 wild animals (lions, tigers, leopards, bears, monkeys, and wolves) from his private zoo out to roam the streets of Ohio and than shot himself. Can you imagine coming home from a long day of work and seeing a lion and a wolf just hanging out in front of your house? The animals were hunted down, and 48 of the 56 were shot dead on the sheriff's orders. This is a perfect example of “When deregulation goes wrong.”

4) Moammar Gadhafi Captured and Killed

Libyan president Moammar Gadhafi, one of his sons, and a top aide were captured and killed after 42 years of what many called a dictatorship. Thousands of Libyans now celebrate their libaration. The challenge now, is for the Libyan people to rebuild their country from bottom up. Many are rejoicing saying "Down with the dictator!" Reflecting on this, I say a man who made so many bad and even horrific choices, and ended up paying for them with his life. What would Libya look like post Moammar Gadhafi? We will just have to wait & see.




3) Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s Dedication Ceremony

The late civil rights leader Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s legacy continues with a memorial dedication in Washington D.C. forty-eight years after his “I have a dream” speech transfixed our nation. Remembering Dr. King’s legacy in a speech at the dedication ceremony, president Barack Obama stated, "Let us remember that change has never been quick. Change has never been simple or without controversy. Change depends on persistence. Change requires determination."

2) Three Women Won the 2011 Nobel Peace Prize

Peace activist Leymah Gbowee of Liberia, president Ellen Johnson Sirleaf of Liberia, and journalist/human rights activist Tawakel Karman of Yemen won the Nobel Peace Prize. Thorbjoern Jagland, the head of the Nobel Prize Committee said “If one fails to include the women in the revolution and the new democracies, there will be no democracy." As a Liberian American woman, this is one I relish with my daughters.

And my # one story of October…

Occupy Wall Street

An ongoing series of demonstrations in New York City based in Zuccotti Park in the Walls Street financial district brought back the old school "Let’s take it to the streets," protest to our consciousness. The “Occupy” movement is shaking up America and shining light of social and economic inequality, corporate greed, corporate power and influence over government. The movement’s slogan, “We are the 99%,” referring to the top 1% who controls 40% of the wealth, is one that my three years old daughter recites while eating her dinner. What started out as a small “Occupy Wall Street” protest has now entered its second month with thousands of protesters in several states and countries around the world.

What are some of your top stories of October 2011?

What are your Non-Negotiables?

So, I've been playing match maker with my friends and family members lately. Connecting friends with friends and even family members have turned out to be an interesting side venture. The good thing is that everyone is being a good sport and is having an opened mind. So far, the people I've connected didn't know each other prior, but I know them individually well enough to believe that they would make a good pair. The question is, a good pair of what? I tell them that I think they would be a good match, and encourage them to get to know each other as friends first, and see what happens. No pressure.

Be yourself, and get to know someone new. Your connection may or may not mature in to a romantic relationship. If you have enough things in common, you just might end up with a really good friend. With that in mind, you have nothing to loose. When the discussion presents itself, be upfront with what you look for in a partner, as well as your non-negotiables. I advise that you have no more than three non-negotiables. Those are the things that you absolutely will not compromise on.

For me, my number one non-negotiable in a relationship is physical abuse. The minute my partner hits me in an aggressive manner is the minute the relationship comes to an end. This, for me, is intolerable and absolutely will not be negotiated. I have communicated this non-negotiable of mine to the guys I've dated in the past. My partners (present and past) have been well informed of this from the beginning of our relationships.

My zero tolerance for domestic violence stems from seeing some strong women from my childhood being physically abused by their partners. There are not too many things worse than watching someone's spirit being broken; watching them lose their shine, and praying that they gather enough strength to leave the abusive situation.

The truth is, by the time our partner puts their hands on us, a lot has already gone wrong. It may have started with them telling us which outfit we should or shouldn't wear, which friends we should or shouldn't have, or what we should or shouldn't do. We may have gradually given them our power and control without even realizing it. The good news is that it is never too late to begin to regain your power and control!

As you begin or continue to date (even if you are married or in a committed relationship), think of what your non-negotiables are. It shouldn't be a long laundry list of things. Three things that you absolutely will not accept, or absolutely must have in a relationship. Keep in mind that you may alter or change your non-negotiables over time. The important thing is to first identify it for yourself and then communicate it to your partner.